Tag Archives: WPD

WPD got a dose of karma after an officer harassed a biker bar (link) for “distracting light displays.”

According to one motorclub member the officer told the owner of the bar they needed to take down their Christmas display immediately so drivers would not be distracted. An argument between patrons and the officer broke out, and the officer threatened if he saw the display on the way back there would be fines.

“We don’t like rude people,” said the member, “and we all love Santa.”

The officer stopped at a well known road stop (link) down the road and used a restroom, only to find their car had been taken.

“It was just gone,” said the officer, “and there was no one who saw anything.”

The officer using a NBS payphone to call headquarters

“Yeah, karma can be a real ex-wife,” said the MC member.

The fugitive lawyer has been spotted in the rural town of Glenbrook (link to local gas station), where he was seen exiting a regional bus and walking to a local pizza place.

No one thought anything of it until later that week when a surveillance camera on a private estate in the Glenbrook Woods caught the same man inside a home.

“We don’t get too many drifters here,” explained a local police chief, “so we never ran the face until the B and E. That’s when the Waterbank warrant came up. We looked for him, but we think he’s moved on by now.”

Waterbank Police attempted a raid in Prototype after a lead indicated that the missing WN reporters may actually being held in a container truck traveling through that area.

“Every trucker goes to the Rodex in Prototype,” said the officer in charge of the raid. “If there was one place to catch them, that was it. We got out and had searched two trucks when Prototype State Police showed up and kicked us out. Unfortunately Waterbank doesn’t have the pull it used to.”

This photo was taken after the raid. “It was a long drive,” explained the officer leaving the restroom.

More reporters from the Waterbank News have disappeared, leaving one solitary reporter in the office.

“It’s freaking me out,” I said, as I put my feet on the editor’s desk. “I just hope they’re safe.”

Waterbank Police have opened a case on the disappearances, and have been pursuing far flung leads. “These reporters really get around,” one officer said.

The Shergood HUD and Sansara Airlines at ERIA

Today in aviation, the WAA has demanded that all Waterbank aircraft use the Shergood Aviation transponder and GPS (link), a way for pilots to see where they are, where others are (fewer crashes!), and plan their flights. The WAA has said that they will no longer use their “pin and paper” method of tracking flights and have entirely switched to the Shergood Radar System (link).

“We love – I mean really love – I mean love love love it,” said the WAA Director.

In East River, Sansara Airlines won a prize for “excellent piloting and safety,” making the airline one of only three ever awarded that prize. Waterbank Airlines remains the only airline who had to return the prize after a fiery crash at an East River gas station.

“There still are very gas stations in East River,” said the award committee.

A smuggler confessed that he too used the Shergood GPS after Waterbank Police arrested him on Munck Field trying to take off with a ton of sand. “He said that the Shergood HUD was great for night flights,” reported a WPD spokesperson.

Smuggler X’s recent opening of a “delivery and postal service” in the Archerfield area hasn’t impressed certain law enforcement agencies, who still have outstanding warrants.

“My kid still has no sand for his sandbox,” said a Waterbank Police lieutenant. “And our volleyball court has rocks.”

Agencies such as the WPD, Sheriff’s Department, ERIA PD, ERPA, and GridEx security all have outstanding warrants for the smuggler.


A Waterbank cold case has been reopened after the discovery of vehicle under water in Second Norway. The case involves the disappearance of a Waterbank senator at the height of the Undine Conflict, a crime that has long been suspected to be perpetrated by the ULF. Both the senator and his vehicle went missing several years ago, taking a major opponent to the ULF out of the advisory body to Waterbank.

“The senator was rabidly anti-ULF,” explained a Waterbank historian, “so there’s definitely motive there. There are some conspiracies about the WIA too. The police will have a lot to sort through.”

“We can’t rule anything out,” said the detective on the case. “We’re even looking at the vehicle itself. It appears to have been driven off the pier deliberately. It’s a SZYM Chancellor, which is one of the sturdiest vehicles out there. There’s no way the senator and the driver’s bodies would have had those kinds of injuries with that vehicle. There’s a reason why VIPs still use it.”

Waterbank Police have said that they will continue the investigation as long as there is a trail to follow.


The Fugitive Lawyer grabbed a Flat White at Pippen Hot, and did it on the WBA tab. The fugitive has been on the run for some time, and despite being number eight on the Waterbank’s Most Wanted, lives an envious life of comfort.

“I don’t think anyone even remembers what crimes he committed,” said a staffer at the WBA. “And he always gives us free legal advice. A coffee is cheap for that.”

“I remember everything that scum did,” said a grizzled and scarred ex-Waterbank Police sergeant. “And if I was on the force still, I’d run him in for sure.”

Asked why he didn’t make a citizen’s arrest, the sergeant replied “a man’s got a right to a croissant, no matter who he is.”