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Photos of a Coastal Patrol craft, the exquisite ZSK P-40, painted by FI Paints over Half Hitch

After a WIA white paper on Half Hitch was left at Club Shinjuku in Prototype, drunken officers of the Coastal Patrol decided to “adopt” the ill-fated island. Promising air cover and their undying vigilance, the CP officers sang a few lines of the island’s song, “Little Fishes,” until a no-longer-amused Will Szymborska had them thrown out.

“I’m pretty sure there are no limericks in the song,” he was overheard saying, “and everyone knows the bad history between Half Hitch and Nantucket.”

Half Hitch, our reporters discovered after they shook the condensation from the white paper, has been in financial straits. The impoverished island lost some of its key fisherpeople to the Waterbank Fishing Company (WFC), and the island’s local fish population has been depleted from overfishing. They are still recovering from their fight for independence, and there are still mines near the harbor, making it a poor choice for the growing GTFO trade.

“We are hoping for tourism,” said one old man on Half Hitch. “Come and try our seaweed sandwiches.”

Local rez for Half Hitch is here (link)

The WBA has been discretely meeting with staff at Feral Marine on Feral Marine’s pleasure cruiser, and speculation about the topic has all the customers at Pippen Hot coffee talking.

“It’s gotta be a conspiracy to take over Pippen,” said one over-caffeinated patron.

“I heard,” whispered another, “that the WBA is really just the WIA and that it’s all part of the Illuminotti.”

The barista tisked. “The Illuminotti is our special biscotti made of candied nuts.”

“I think you’re all nuts,” said the Waterbank News intern. “Just walk over there and ask them what they’re doing.”

An East River data center has been accused of playing a part in a WIA data breach thst may have exposed Waterbank’s most secretive database.

A Waterbank University professor of Applied Political Malfeasance told us it was serious. “We’re talking about the Forgier report, the Undine secret missions, and whether or not there’s a plan to kidnap members of NTBI to construct a mountain lair.”

“We’ve never done those things,” said a WIA rep, “but there are a lot of family recipes we’d hate to get out.”

Scable Data, located in Grizedale (link), is part of East River’s ‘Sillycon River,’ and did not respond to us. WIA is said to be weighing options.

In an enlargement of the rift between Waterbank citizens and the East River, Feral Marine wet teams were actively looking for Waterbank separatists in Buckland combat area.

“No one really knows what is happening at Buckland,” a Feral Marine spokesperson defended. “Is it possible that a few of our security personnel find Waterbank in the wrong? Maybe. Is it possible that they took it on themselves to go where the news told them separatists were to follow their own judgement? Maybe. But as far as I know, there has been no order for them to do so.”

WIA has responded by sending some of their own agents too, though they deny it. “Is it possible that a few of our security personnel find East River in the wrong? Maybe. Is it possible that they took it on themselves to go where Waterbank citizens miight be in danger and to follow their own judgement? Maybe. But as far as I know, there has been no order for them to do so.”

Visit here: Buckland Military Region

In a series of events that could be from the TV series “Twin Peaks,” a WIA operative stumbled upon an abandoned vehicle, then a still burning campfire with no one there. He then went to a nearby gas station only to see that there was no one there.

Glenbrook PD were called from a NBS payphone, and they too were baffled.

“There are footprints from the van to the fire, then… none. We’re worried that it might be something animal that took these people.”

The East and West River areas (above), are long time rivals yet recent allegations of criminal activity and favoritism have opened old wounds.

“We know they’re out to get us,” claimed one West River citizen at a coffee clutch. “And they’ll do anything to get our land.”

East River citizens were less upset. “What river? Isn’t that just a minor tributary?”

We asked an expert at Waterbank University about the conflict. “Historically West River was the first area developed, with a central winding road and bridges connecting the banks. However, once the Stray Cat Company started in East River, they began pulling people over to the East. Today the East River is one of the B7 (see right), and the West River is only known for its eccentric millionaires. They are naturally jealous.”

WIA had a different take on the conflict. “West River’s not all wrong. East River has over twenty mercenary groups that work out of it, and it’s one of the few places with legalized catnip. If people think they can profit by knocking over people outside of East River jurisdiction, or grabbing some land, they will.”

The UCS and WIA are reporting that the Honah Island chain is politically unstable after several islands went up for sale, encouraging separatist groups.

“Yeah, definitely unstable,” said a WIA rep.

“We’re sending in the clowns!” Exclaimed the UCS. “Defenders of world peas!”

“The clowns,” WIA asked.

“Oh. The Clowns are our elite reaction team. Cool name, huh?”

WIA: No comment.