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Waterbank Airlines has hit the news again after a whistleblower from the airline came forward and said that the Waterbank Airlines has been a taxi service for the Waterbank Intelligence Agency for several years now.

“The Waterbank News guy asked if anyone wanted to come forward with some dirt to print,” said the WA employee, “and I said ‘sure, I got time to kill. I ain’t had nothin’ to do all day but blow this stupid whistle.”

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The recent reactivation of a cold case involving a Waterbank limo (link) has been linked to the Forgier assasination (link) by the Waterbank Police and has been forwarded to the WIA for review.

The Waterbank Intelligence Agency handles all extraterritorial investigations, which means that both cases are likely to involve foreign agencies.

A WIA PA-38 (ZSK) flies night flights in WSDF camo.

Waterbank Intelligence Agency has been increasing reconnaissance flights in the Juneau area after a shipment of unglazed doughnuts was captured at Juneau Airport.

“It’s bigger than the sand trade,” explained a WIA spokesperson about the doughnut trafficking in the Blake Sea. “If we don’t curtail it soon, who knows what’ll happen.”

“Yeah,” snarked a pilot, “we might spoil our appetite for veggies.”

submerchanc

A Waterbank cold case has been reopened after the discovery of vehicle under water in Second Norway. The case involves the disappearance of a Waterbank senator at the height of the Undine Conflict, a crime that has long been suspected to be perpetrated by the ULF. Both the senator and his vehicle went missing several years ago, taking a major opponent to the ULF out of the advisory body to Waterbank.

“The senator was rabidly anti-ULF,” explained a Waterbank historian, “so there’s definitely motive there. There are some conspiracies about the WIA too. The police will have a lot to sort through.”

“We can’t rule anything out,” said the detective on the case. “We’re even looking at the vehicle itself. It appears to have been driven off the pier deliberately. It’s a SZYM Chancellor, which is one of the sturdiest vehicles out there. There’s no way the senator and the driver’s bodies would have had those kinds of injuries with that vehicle. There’s a reason why VIPs still use it.”

Waterbank Police have said that they will continue the investigation as long as there is a trail to follow.

Waterbank Associated Press Feed:

Waterbank News staff was rescued in daring amphibious operation on an island in the Tulagi combat area yesterday by Two Tangos Inc.. The Search and Rescue group declined to comment on the details of the operation, but said that “they were emaciated and sober – it was a terrible condition for reporters to be in.”

The reporters had been forced to go on a corporate “retraining” retreat, and had not been heard from in a week. They have been sent to the WIA for debriefing, which told us that they had been rescued from a “luxurious island prison” in the Tulagi area.

“We are giving them whisky and pickled eggs now, and expect them to recover soon,” said the WIA.

2tango

Reporters mercilessly teased the WIA spokeswoman over an unusually named mission from Two Tangos Inc., taking advantage of the woman’s shyness. As she tried to explain that the operation was to safeguard SLMarines from accidents during an amphibious operation, double entendres and outright lewdness took over the press conference. “I did all I could to maintain composure,” she told us in a bar later. “But what can you do when they called the op ‘Operation Blow Hole?’”

anwrchanneltraffic Even at night the ANWR Channel is full of activity.

The ANWR Channel, considered by many to be one of the most underappreciated of continental links, has been indicated in a WIA report to the acting Waterbank government as a hotbed of illicit activity.

“We are not talking about cheating in Bingo,” said the WIA spokeswoman. “We are talking about pirates, smugglers, and criminals operating between Calleta City and hundreds of destinations.”

According to an inside source inside the WBA, even the oil rig has been used as an illicit base for smuggling. Waterbank has not responded to the report, but it is believed that at-sea interdictions and raids will be planned.