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mowrystepsupA WAX ambulance gasses up at a Mowry filling station with the Meowry Cat Cafe in the background.

The district of Mowry has been increasing its role in the civic administration of the East River, adding a number of facilities to increase safety and commerce. Fire stations, fuel stops, and road improvements are just some of the improvements made.

“ERC is in a time of transition,” explained the hot dog vendor in downtown Mowry and self-professed know it all. “Mowry is doing its part to stabilize it.”

WAXerER

A Waterbank Auxiliary mechanic working on a WAX ambulance drove himself to the hospital in East River yesterday after a strange accident in the garage.

“Yeah, the TPF-4 (link) is still the best ambulance out there. The one that brought me to the hospital’s been in the shop only twice in three years. Good chassis, great features, and drives hard.”

When pressed on the nature of the injury, the mechanic said, “let’s just say that it’s important to sit in the right place in the garage.”

The Astaro TPF was signed into service with WAX and the WPD in 2013 (link), and is still considered essential by both organizations.

WAXbananaShipment

Bananas are no laughing matter to one dock worker at the SNO docks, who was taken to the hospital yesterday afternoon after a serious injury.

The dock worker was one of several unloading a shipment of the naturally packaged fruit from the Blake Sea islands when he slipped on a banana peel.

“One leg went one way, and the other went the other way,” explained his friend, “it was like he was trying to split himself in half. We heard a sound and then he started squealing. I think that’s when we knew he wasn’t playing around.”

DaveDorm Gaffer, CEO of GridEx was at the SNO branch office near the docks. “It was a terrible sound, and I had one of my staff call for an ambulance the moment I saw the man on the ground.”

WBA President Sketch Sun was at the docks too, eating a banana when we spoke to him. “You gotta be careful around bananas,” he said, shaking the bananas at us. “The peels are so slippery,” he finished it and carelessly threw the peel over his shoulder, “so yeah. Safety first.”

DoYouSmellWAX in front of the sign in question, with a TPF4 from Astaro.

A Waterbank Auxiliary ambulance driver fell for a gag at Second Norway Airport, and called the fire department. “I guess I need more sleep,” said the driver who read the sign. “I just thought fire, and called into dispatch. A couple of maintenance guys were around the corner laughing their heads off.”

WAXsnapdoo

After an emergency call to Snapdoogle Airport came in, Waterbank Auxiliary delayed in sending an ambulance to the airport. “We thought it was a joke,” explained the driver, “what kind of name is Slapdoogle?”

“It is a family name with a long history,” said Chester Slapdoogle from his home on Route 14. “People have been laughing about it since my Great Grandfather, Doogle.”

After a few calls came in, an ambulance was routed from the rest stop (rez spot link) on Route 14 to Slapdoogle Airport (link) to take in a passenger who had passed out on the tarmac.

Waterbank’s Mayor was a no show after a Waterbank Citizen was the victim of a crab attack on the East River. The victim, who suffered a number of incisions, was taken to the East River Hospital by Waterbank Auxiliary paramedics, who were surprised that the Mayor didn’t show.

“It’s the kind of thing she usually does,” the EMT said, “comfort a Waterbank citizen in need. And this time it’s really close to the office.”

The Mayor has missed a number of meetings lately, and some people are calling for a special election for her replacement. “We need someone new,” said the spokesperson for the New Year, New Mayor movement. “Here we have a victim in a tragic assault, and she’s not even there to lend support.”

“It’s hardly a tragic assault,” scoffed a nurse at the East River Hospital, “There were only two crabs, and we administered two Band-Aids.”