Tag Archives: Waterbank

Posted by the West River Free Press:

A solitary Waterbank News reporter was rescued in Juneau today, shocking local residents and raising a few debt collector’s eyebrows.

“He was flailing around like a fish having a seizure,” said pilot of the Juneau Search and Rescue. “You could see it from 300 feet up, which is really saying something.”

The pilot was able to conduct a water landing and rescue the journalist, thanks to JSAR’s latest acquisition, the Shergood Aviation S61R (link). Shortly after the rescue the reporter was sent to East River Hospital, where he is reported to be in a stable condition. Police are not releasing information at this time, though one officer of local Sheriff’s Department let slip that this was the break they needed in the disappearance of an entire newspaper staff.

A West River city, nicknamed Clarksburg after the ill-fated cattle magnate that once owned the land, has been attracting citizens with jobs and shiny things. The area (link to it) is also aside the Waterbank relocation site, the once dreamt of home for hundreds of Waterbank citizens.

“I think we’ll never really have a home of our own,” confessed WBA President Sketch Sun at the SZYM Tower bar. “It’s been one boondoggle after another catastrophe.”

The new city has pulled in so much of Waterbank interest, that the Bank of Waterbank has put the Waterbank relocation site up for sale.

“It’s a good property. 1024 that is on the riverbank, attached to a Linden road, and with a negotiable price,” a Bank rep told us.

Waterbank Fish Company has been accused by the Mowry Constable of “fostering separatism” in the latest of Mowry Town Hall.

“I was shocked,” said a five year old we interviewed. “I was just playing with my toys, and then he just stood up and said all this crazy stuff!”

“It was everything I had always feared coming true,” said the five year old’s mother. “We eat their fish sticks every night! My boy loves the Undinian Trout and my husband loves the Dutch Harbor mollusks… so scary!”

Waterbank Fish Company refused to comment on the allegation, instead replying with “we will always provide our customers with the fish they love.”

Buckland Military Region, the unique combat training ground that has won accolades from tens of military and law enforcement groups, has doubled its holdings.

“It’s a huge boost,” said the editor for Soldier of Modest Fortune magazine. “We can practice our craft in the air, sea, and land.”

Proxy War Fought at Buckland

East and West River forces are actively fighting each other at Buckland, using the combat space instead of open conflict near their populations.

“It started as just a few guys with pistols,” said an East River combatant who described herself as ‘Deadshot Gil.’ “Then those vermits brought rocket launchers.”

“It wasn’t the original intention of the space,” said on of the maintenace people at Buckland, “but it works.” The person has the unenviable job of replacing destroyed oil drums (18 hp). “Meh, it’s a job, right? What else am I gonna do with a Phd in linguistics?”

The Fugitive Lawyer in front of the ERC complex in Grizedale

The Fugitive Lawyer has negotiated an immunity and extradition deal for the three reporters charged with crimes of conspiracy, transferring the three to West River.

“Passions are too high in the East River, and I think the judge knows that,” the lawyer said. “West River has been actively courting Waterbank citizens, so it’s a good fit. The three will be transferred to an undisclosed location and will not be allowed to publish.”

The deal has the support of moderates in East River, though the tension between East and West Rivers remains. Waterbank citizens have been discussing moving to West River in greater numbers after the arrest of the reporters.

Special forces, police, and armed groups everywhere are gung ho on Buckland, a multi-regional combat environment for modern combat.

With a variety of entry points, Buckland lets combatants challenge themselves against live and stationary targets. Air, sea, and land operations can be conducted using VICE protocols, with consentual engagements in MCE.

A group of Waterbank separatists were recently practicing there, and left their mark on the combat zone.

“Yeah,” said one of the nurses at the field hospital, “one of them left lipstick all over one of our doctors.”

Visit here: Buckland Military Region

Three Waterbank News reporters were arrested in Pippen this week after allegations of conspiracy and endangering the peace were raised against them in a rival newspaper.

The East River Express, a monthly periodical with a readership of 27, accused the WN of pushing a Waterbank separatist agenda and “conspiring to overthrow the Hellvelyn Art Council.”

The Managing Editor of WN was slow to refute the charges and after several provocative cocktail napkins were found the Sheriff of East River County moved in.

“Hey,” he explained in a press conference, “my sister’s on the Art Council.”
The reporters are being held without bail in East River Penitentiary.

A recent white paper from the Waterbank Business Association has made an argument for manufacturers to release vehicle prototypes earlier, sparking concern from several safety groups.

“If manufacturers only look at the numbers they lose out on something we at the WBA call ‘owner psychology,'” explained WBA President Sketch Sun. “The production cycle in many products is so long that customers that are excited about a product actually can lose interest in the product before its release. Couple that with competition and the manufacturer may see lower sales. Early releases pay less, but ensure that interest is kept and a positive cash flow is established. It is difficult to quantify hard numbers for this kind of situation, but we have some examples. The very successful Motor Lux, for example, was a desirable boat long before release, and never saw the sales it might have if it had been put out for early release. Today companies like Feral Marine have half a dozen ships in dry dock that might fit this kind of profile – very interesting, useful, and in early testing.”

Safety groups like FAD (Fathers Against Dilapidation) say that early releases put unsafe vehicles into the public, and have lambasted the WBA white paper as ‘humbug.’