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The Sheriff’s Department has undergone a reorganization after the WBA determined that independent communities have a better idea of how to police themselves.

“We’re taking the Sheriff’s Department open source,” said the former Sheriff, “so now everyone can set up their own department. We’ll just offer support and some paint.”

Paints were the first order of the day too, with the sale of a fat pack of Sheriff Department paints available at an unbelievably low price (link to texture fat pack). The paints offer simple branding for some of the most used vehicles by the Sheriff’s Department.

“We love these vehicles,” the former Sheriff said, “starting with the gold standard for patrol, the SZYM Intruder (link). We also have textures for the Astaro TPF4 – a brilliant emergency vehicle (link), the PA-38 by ZSK (link)which we use to catch speeders and cover the East River mountains, the GEMC Detroit Pacific bus (link), and a Bell helicopter (link) too.”

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A Sheriff’s Department vehicle is seen with the fear inducing warning “beast sight” in its back window.

A squirrel was shot and then rushed to a vet yesterday after a Sheriff’s deputy shot it while looking for the beast in East River.

“We’re all on edge,” said the Sheriff, “and the deputy is an inexperienced officer. He was using a rifle scope and was surprised.”

“Squirrels look so cute far away,” the deputy told us, “but through a rifle scope they’re big ugly beasts!”

The East River Police and the Sheriff’s Department are looking into a video found on a mangled body in the woods only a few miles from the Feral Marine compound. On the body a video camera with a damaged cartridge was found.

“The body was found gnawed and mangled,” said a Sheriff’s Deputy, “and it really looks like something the beast would do. We’re advising residents to stay close to home and avoid the hiking trails for the moment.”

The video (link), purchased by Waterbank News, shows a new boat from Feral Marine, and appears to have been cut to promote the new luxury liner. Conspiracy theorists in East River have already suggested that the death was in fact a homicide made to look like the beast had done it.

“Feral’s very secretive,” said a Feral Marine worker off record. “This wouldn’t be the first person something strange happened to.”

East River Police say that they are looking into all possible leads.

Recent reports of a “beast-like creature” in the mountainous area behind East River’s major airport, ERIA has sent the Sheriff’s Department into the hills.

“There are plenty of trails and open land there,” said a spokeswoman for the Department. “Our drones get shot down by the residents, so we’ve taken to mounted patrols. As yet there haven’t been any reason to believe the beast is back.”

“Don’t believe a word they say,” said a mountain man on Mt. Montezuma, “they ain’t seen the crazy beast like I have.”

submerchanc

A Waterbank cold case has been reopened after the discovery of vehicle under water in Second Norway. The case involves the disappearance of a Waterbank senator at the height of the Undine Conflict, a crime that has long been suspected to be perpetrated by the ULF. Both the senator and his vehicle went missing several years ago, taking a major opponent to the ULF out of the advisory body to Waterbank.

“The senator was rabidly anti-ULF,” explained a Waterbank historian, “so there’s definitely motive there. There are some conspiracies about the WIA too. The police will have a lot to sort through.”

“We can’t rule anything out,” said the detective on the case. “We’re even looking at the vehicle itself. It appears to have been driven off the pier deliberately. It’s a SZYM Chancellor, which is one of the sturdiest vehicles out there. There’s no way the senator and the driver’s bodies would have had those kinds of injuries with that vehicle. There’s a reason why VIPs still use it.”

Waterbank Police have said that they will continue the investigation as long as there is a trail to follow.