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The Archerfield Waterbank News Office (link under Big 7 at right) is reporting that ZSK is actively working on a project which has been dubbed “Snubbie.”

“Actually,” said an anonymous source that was in the Archerfield Maintenance Department told us, “Snubbie is my name for it. It’s the P-47, that monster of a classic fighter.”

Rumors are circulating that the fighter in construction is capable of bombs and ‘on the rail’ missiles as well as a fierce rate of climb.

“If you know ZSK planes,” WBA President Sketch Sun told us, “then you know that this won’t just be a classic warbird. This will be a deadly piece of art.”

ZSK planes are some of the highest rated planes in the world, and regularly win awards. The stock price on the WSE (link) rose sharply after the news.

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Waterbank News went on a ride along in the East River with the Sheriff’s Department and our first stop was coffee at the local favorite, the Claw Cafe in Clawfoote (link).

“Yeah, a lot people are angry that people are so cozy with the Claw here on the Upper East [River],” said the Deputy and captain of our ride, “but there’s no proof of anything criminal here but the prices.”

“We came out here twice on raids authorized by East River Port Authority and found nothing. They even helped us look around and gave us free sandwiches. It’s pretty hard not to love this place. Their menu items are pretty amazing and they serve Tunisian Moon Coffee.”

While we ate, we talked about life on the river and the boat we were using, a MLB from Feral Marine (link).

“This boat’s seen some things,” they told us. “Rescues, catnip deals gone bad, and even some races with ERPA too. She won, by the way.”

We asked about what the latest issues on the East River and the Deputy almost dropped her sandwich. “Catnip smugglers! Those sons of sandy areas are too scared to move it directly and have been floating their contraband down the river. There’s so many getting strung out that the ER Council’s talking about opening a Cat-a-torium.”


Later that day we saw the crates in question

After our breakfast we got back on board and patrolled for five hours. It was a long shift, and we asked about the New Year’s Heist.

“Well, we know that several of them were eaten by the Beasts,” the Deputy told us, “but the rest are still out there. I’ve heard they may bring in bounty hunters to track them down.”

Asked about the Beast, the Deputy looked nervously around. “Yeah, they’re out there. Scientists think that they only feed every month or so and that’s why they’re so hard to find.”

As our day finished we asked if there was anything they wanted to say to our readers.

“Oh, yeah. Be safe on the water, Stay clear of catnip, and try the cafe. You may feel differently about the Claw after that.”

A WN reporter long believed to be lost was discovered at the bar at Feral Marine’s showroom (link), sharing a tiki cocktail with a monkey.

“I gots my pride,” they told us, “and I’m not comin’ back until the editor apologizes.”

When we explained that the editor had gone missing too, the reporter only laughed, refusing to say where they – or the others – had gone to.

“Let’s just say I didn’t get this monkey for nothin'” they told us. The mystery is still unsolved…

Airport Monthly has awarded Archerfield Airfield with another award, this time the “Airport of the Month” award for January 2018.

“There are soooooooo many airports,” said a AM staffer, “so getting to the top means your airport has something special.”

Asked whether the airfield was getting special treatment because of the Archerfield Free Post being based there the staffer denied it.

“No, it’s because it has two great fields, a shooting range, kangaroos, a Waterbank News office, a shopping center, a dock, and…” the staffer took a deep breath, “an aviation school, a dock, ZSK, and a possible royal connection to the Duke of Archer.”

Waterbank Airlines has hit the news again after a whistleblower from the airline came forward and said that the Waterbank Airlines has been a taxi service for the Waterbank Intelligence Agency for several years now.

“The Waterbank News guy asked if anyone wanted to come forward with some dirt to print,” said the WA employee, “and I said ‘sure, I got time to kill. I ain’t had nothin’ to do all day but blow this stupid whistle.”