Tag Archives: Waterbank Fish Co.

Waterbank Fish Company has been accused by the Mowry Constable of “fostering separatism” in the latest of Mowry Town Hall.

“I was shocked,” said a five year old we interviewed. “I was just playing with my toys, and then he just stood up and said all this crazy stuff!”

“It was everything I had always feared coming true,” said the five year old’s mother. “We eat their fish sticks every night! My boy loves the Undinian Trout and my husband loves the Dutch Harbor mollusks… so scary!”

Waterbank Fish Company refused to comment on the allegation, instead replying with “we will always provide our customers with the fish they love.”

The Waterbank Fish Co. (WFC) has been caught illegally fishing in protected waters, according to a Sheriff’s Department report.

“We regularly patrol waters within our jurisdiction,” said a rep, “to include several minor seas. WFC had its booms out trawling in an area that marked as an archeological and endangered wildlife area.”

No comment was available from WFC, and the Waterbank DA says that fines and jail time for the captain are possible.

WFC’s latest quarterly report stunned investors last Thursday with record numbers, and it’s got everyone thinking about fish. Even Hakuso has “sold the farm” to switch to fish.

“We had to sell that farm,” explained a Hakuso Day Trader, “we really don’t know anything about animals. One of our traders was hospitalized after he tried to update a bull with a USB. I feel kinda bad for telling him to ‘try all the holes.’ Anyhow, we’re getting into fish now. We bought a boat and everything!”

The prices for Undinian Trout, Danger Point Crawfish, Honah Lee Halibut, Yumix Caviar, Gorlanova Gyspy Clams, East River Eels, Spyglass Island Tiger Lobsters, Dutch Harbor Dungeness, and the TAG Tuna are all higher than ever before and WFC (Waterbank Fish Company) can barely keep up with demand.

“Everybody’s having fish,” said the reclusive CEO of WFC on the phone. “Hell, I’d send someone into space to get New Denver Salmon if I could!”

Locals of Dutch Harbor and commuting workers are hailing the newest development on the island sales center, saying it’s about time.

“You don’t know how long we’ve been here without a single restaurant,” said one local. “Dutch once started a recycling drive and he’s never had to by metal again for his projects. We’ve been living on canned food for years!”

Visitors and locals can now buy food at the Dutch Harbor Terminal building and a local snack stand, all alongside a new deepwater dock and a ferris wheel.

“We’re sorry to see some of our favorite customers go,” said a spokesperson for Waterbank Fish Company, “but we are sure that they will return to our fine seafood products very soon.”


Waterbank Fish Company is blaming the Claw for the sinking of a trawler in the ANWR Channel, though emergency responders say that the craft was “suspiciously positioned with its head up a buoy’s derriere.”

WFC and the Claw have long maintained a contentious relationship. New spokesman for the Claw – our former intern – has said that “the Waterbank Fish Company routinely fishes indiscriminately, taking in endangered animals. We would like to claim that we sunk this vessel, but we had nothing to do with it.”

Our intern embedded into the Claw sent in this report:

A shot from a “safety patrol” in Windhill City (link at right). Patrols such as these send a sniper team into cities to target undesirable elements.

Readers, the last month has been amazing here in the Claw. When you are outside the Claw you hear things like “they beat their underlings,” or “their blood is thick and icy,” but it’s nothing like that when you’re inside. During the last month I’ve been a volunteer for a blood drive, helped people build homes on a storm ravaged island, and watched “safety patrols” improve the quality of life for ordinary citizens. Inside the Claw the world looks very different. Read this story from a Claw pilot and see.

“I was patrolling just outside the Crow’s Nest in Blake when I see this fishing trawler with both nets going just taking in as much as it can. Now you and I know that the area’s off limits for fishing. It’s a protected area for the Blake Dolphin, the rarest creature in the world. I buzz the ship and see that it’s another WFC (Waterbank Fish Co.) trawler, and they start shooting at me. What kind of fisherman carry anti-aircraft missiles? I barely escaped when this CP (Coastal Patrol) comes out of nowhere and starts lighting up my tail. That’s when I started fighting back.” – Claw P40 Pilot

Not so black and white now, is it readers?
This is a picture of the Claw pilot – Simon X – just an ordinary guy having an espresso, just like any of you. When you meet him he’s humble and eager to help.

That’s all from this report, I’ll send more in when I can.


GEMC, the vehicle maker that is sometimes called the “ZSK of autos,” has opened a new store at FlyinTails Airfield (link). The company which has set a standard for mass transit livery has recently contributed to the Lusch Motors release, Retro, and is working on several impressive new projects.

“We’ve been using their trawler for years,” said the Waterbank Fish Company President, “it’s the workhorse of our fleet.”

Visitors to the showroom will be treated to three floors of expansive showrooms in a coastal setting that is sure to please. Visitors can search the Marketplace or go to the above link.