Waterbank Airlines has hit the news again after a whistleblower from the airline came forward and said that the Waterbank Airlines has been a taxi service for the Waterbank Intelligence Agency for several years now.
“The Waterbank News guy asked if anyone wanted to come forward with some dirt to print,” said the WA employee, “and I said ‘sure, I got time to kill. I ain’t had nothin’ to do all day but blow this stupid whistle.”
Waterbank Airlines has made several black lists after ferrying a paramilitary group to one of the contested islands in the Blake Sea area, angering a number of political groups.
“Civilian airlines have no business moving troops,” said the spokeswoman for the Unhitch Half Hitch Union (UHHU – “yoohoo”). “If Waterbank Airlines tries to land here we’ll blast’em outta the sky!”
A representative from WA was unapologetic. “Oh please. Half Hitch? I’m surprised they know what an airplane is. We are in business, and will ferry anyone for a price. That’s how a business works.”
A Waterbank Airlines pilot took this shot of the new ZSK jet as it fly by yesterday.
“She was so beautiful,” said the pilot, “I actually drooled.”
A pilot conducting training for to be a Waterbank Airlines pilot demonstrated land navigation as part of Waterbank Airlines’ emergency training. During the training they discovered a strange craft and took the above photo.
“It was incredible,” said the pilot in training. “Our instructor took off from Archerfield in a Tomahawk (ZSK) and flew with nothing but his wits and the road below. We landed a few hours later next to a UFO and had a picnic. Every pilot should try it!”
The UFO was sighted at this location (link)
The Waterbank Stock Exchange has taken a company off of it’s list, the first time an active company has had it’s name removed.
“It was overdue,” said WBA President Sketch Sun. “The company is still selling planes, but it has never lifted above the dark clouds of scandal. Their company stock value was at .01 for an entire year, and it looks like it will never rise. WSE regulators have been pushing for its removal for a long time, but we had to wait until a court case concluded before we could take action.”
The company has been mired in a controversy over the content of its craft, with a number of credible sources alleging that its manufacturer used illicit means to construct its craft. Several airports have refused the right to land and use to owners of the craft, and Waterbank Airlines still has lawsuits in progress against the company in Waterbank courts.
“I think enough has been said about them,” said WBA President Sketch Sun, “we should focus on what other makers are doing – and there’s a lot to be happy about. There are tens of new vehicles coming from incredible makers, and hundreds of other producers that will be on the WSE.”
A Waterbank Airlines pilot was arrested today after she was caught starting a barbecue inside their airplane.
ERIA PD spokesperson told us about it. “The perp was found with bbq sauce in one hand and lighter fluid in the other. I shouldn’t have to tell you that ‘I’m hungry’ is not an acceptable reason to start a fire.”
A charter tour of the Sea of Fables ruins caught a glimpse of the East River Snake, a ten meter eel that has been blamed for missing coolers throughout the East River system. As the tour hovered above an ancient temple, the snake slid around the waves, amazing the tourists.
“People like to put their drinks in floating coolers to cool them off,” said an East River Port Authority official, “and that snake snaps ’em up, cooler and all. Near as we can tell the creature is living completely on coolers and crabs.”
ERPA says that the snake has not posed any threat to humans, though advises swimmers to immediately get out of the water if they see it.