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Waterbank Airlines has hit the news again after a whistleblower from the airline came forward and said that the Waterbank Airlines has been a taxi service for the Waterbank Intelligence Agency for several years now.

“The Waterbank News guy asked if anyone wanted to come forward with some dirt to print,” said the WA employee, “and I said ‘sure, I got time to kill. I ain’t had nothin’ to do all day but blow this stupid whistle.”

Waterbank Airlines has made several black lists after ferrying a paramilitary group to one of the contested islands in the Blake Sea area, angering a number of political groups.

“Civilian airlines have no business moving troops,” said the spokeswoman for the Unhitch Half Hitch Union (UHHU – “yoohoo”). “If Waterbank Airlines tries to land here we’ll blast’em outta the sky!”

A representative from WA was unapologetic. “Oh please. Half Hitch? I’m surprised they know what an airplane is. We are in business, and will ferry anyone for a price. That’s how a business works.”

pilotflybyroad

A pilot conducting training for to be a Waterbank Airlines pilot demonstrated land navigation as part of Waterbank Airlines’ emergency training. During the training they discovered a strange craft and took the above photo.

“It was incredible,” said the pilot in training. “Our instructor took off from Archerfield in a Tomahawk (ZSK) and flew with nothing but his wits and the road below. We landed a few hours later next to a UFO and had a picnic. Every pilot should try it!”

The UFO was sighted at this location (link)

The Waterbank Stock Exchange has taken a company off of it’s list, the first time an active company has had it’s name removed.

“It was overdue,” said WBA President Sketch Sun. “The company is still selling planes, but it has never lifted above the dark clouds of scandal. Their company stock value was at .01 for an entire year, and it looks like it will never rise. WSE regulators have been pushing for its removal for a long time, but we had to wait until a court case concluded before we could take action.”

The company has been mired in a controversy over the content of its craft, with a number of credible sources alleging that its manufacturer used illicit means to construct its craft. Several airports have refused the right to land and use to owners of the craft, and Waterbank Airlines still has lawsuits in progress against the company in Waterbank courts.

“I think enough has been said about them,” said WBA President Sketch Sun, “we should focus on what other makers are doing – and there’s a lot to be happy about. There are tens of new vehicles coming from incredible makers, and hundreds of other producers that will be on the WSE.”

WAcharterRuins

A charter tour of the Sea of Fables ruins caught a glimpse of the East River Snake, a ten meter eel that has been blamed for missing coolers throughout the East River system. As the tour hovered above an ancient temple, the snake slid around the waves, amazing the tourists.

“People like to put their drinks in floating coolers to cool them off,” said an East River Port Authority official, “and that snake snaps ’em up, cooler and all. Near as we can tell the creature is living completely on coolers and crabs.”

ERPA says that the snake has not posed any threat to humans, though advises swimmers to immediately get out of the water if they see it.

WAeriatakeoff A Waterbank Airlines charter flight prepares for takeoff from East River Intercontinental Airport. The age of the craft can be seen from the airport approval stamps for Undine Airport, Sunnydale, Twin Gems, and Waterbank. Airport approval stamps were discontinued in 2013.

Waterbank Airlines has a shaky future by all opinions, but especially at White Star Airport, where the new Landing Rating System (AKA the Christi Landing Rating System) rated a recent landing at a level so low that “it frightens people on the ground and the air.”

Industry watchers say that the airline, which has only two regular flights, has subsisted only by charter flights and freight services. WIA and law enforcement agencies have investigated WA several times over the last year for smuggling and illegal practices, but have not made any arrests.

In a surprise to all who witnessed, a new Vulture Air ATX 72 ran out of fuel on approach to Honah Lee Field just a few meters from the runway. As the waves crashed over the plane, the pilot and crew escaped uninjured. Fortunately, the plane was being ferried and had no passengers aboard.

water-landing

The pilot, whose name was not released, was seen drying off his blue feet and wringing out his socks. “I swore I thought I could make it on five bucks,” he said sheepishly.

This is the second such mishap for Vulture Air in as many weeks, the first being a new 727 recently delivered that went down over Second Norway. This new event has forced stockholders and industry pundits to speculate that Vulture Air has lost its edge as the market leader. With smaller, younger airlines joining the fray, has the golden age of aviation closed for the venerable airline? Only time will tell.Stock prices on the WSE for Vulture Air (VULA) closed yesterday at 90.23 up 2.03

One of reporters – name omitted for their safety – met with a member of WIA, the Waterbank Intelligence Agency, to discuss a black project that might shed light on recent news stories.

SkDiner

Below is an edited transcript of the interaction between the reporter and the WIA source:

“Project 53 was an anti-zombie program wasn’t it?”
“Yeah. You have to remember that back then Waterbank and the Mayor were worried about it. The disease was completely unknown and there had been two city closures because of outbreaks. Sunnydale was classified as a radioactive leak, but if you could see the pictures, you’d know why Project 53 started.”

“So what was it?”
“Back when Project 53 was in its heyday, there was a lot of funding put behind countermeasures. Everything got funding, from anti-aging medicines to super weapons. They called one of the projects ‘population replacement,’ and that’s where Sketch Sun came from.” The aging man coughed for a long time, then took some coffee to change the taste.

“Sketch Sun? You mean the President of the WBA?”
The man laughed a bit, then continues. “Him too. Who knows how many of them are out there. We lost hundreds just in Undine-”

“They’re all called Sketch Sun? Same person?” (The reporter is clearly shocked.)
The man laughed heartily. “Clones. Population replacement. The only way you can tell the good ones from the bad ones is if they start shooting at you.”

“There are bad ones?”
More coughing. “Yes. I don’t know how many, but when we were counting there was a rate of ten percent that went bad. Ended up in criminal groups like the 55s, or even the Claw.”

“The Claw?!”
“Takes all kinds -“ He laughs at the pun, “-and once we let that genie out of the bottle, Waterbank was a different kind of operation.”

“How much of Waterbank is ‘populated’ by Sketch Sun?”
The man shook his head, dodging the question. “Let’s just say that the pumps are still running.”

“How do you know so much?” Our reporter asked.
The man got up to leave. “Because I’m one of them.”

Readers have noticed for years that there were similarities in photos of various players on the Waterbank scene, but until this reporter met with their source in WIA, there was little to corroborate conflicting accounts of Sketch Sun. The knowledge that there may be hundreds of clones has given Waterbank residents pause, and more than a few are wondering if the Sun family is larger than reported. Waterbank Intelligence Agency and the Mayor’s Office refused comment for this story.