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Waterbank News went on a ride along in the East River with the Sheriff’s Department and our first stop was coffee at the local favorite, the Claw Cafe in Clawfoote (link).

“Yeah, a lot people are angry that people are so cozy with the Claw here on the Upper East [River],” said the Deputy and captain of our ride, “but there’s no proof of anything criminal here but the prices.”

“We came out here twice on raids authorized by East River Port Authority and found nothing. They even helped us look around and gave us free sandwiches. It’s pretty hard not to love this place. Their menu items are pretty amazing and they serve Tunisian Moon Coffee.”

While we ate, we talked about life on the river and the boat we were using, a MLB from Feral Marine (link).

“This boat’s seen some things,” they told us. “Rescues, catnip deals gone bad, and even some races with ERPA too. She won, by the way.”

We asked about what the latest issues on the East River and the Deputy almost dropped her sandwich. “Catnip smugglers! Those sons of sandy areas are too scared to move it directly and have been floating their contraband down the river. There’s so many getting strung out that the ER Council’s talking about opening a Cat-a-torium.”


Later that day we saw the crates in question

After our breakfast we got back on board and patrolled for five hours. It was a long shift, and we asked about the New Year’s Heist.

“Well, we know that several of them were eaten by the Beasts,” the Deputy told us, “but the rest are still out there. I’ve heard they may bring in bounty hunters to track them down.”

Asked about the Beast, the Deputy looked nervously around. “Yeah, they’re out there. Scientists think that they only feed every month or so and that’s why they’re so hard to find.”

As our day finished we asked if there was anything they wanted to say to our readers.

“Oh, yeah. Be safe on the water, Stay clear of catnip, and try the cafe. You may feel differently about the Claw after that.”

SWAT teams descended on Smuggler’s Port after a hostage was taken on the tarmac.

“They just took him against his will,” screamed one bystander who saw the crime.

“We set positions around the tarmac and brought in a hostage negotiator,” said a SWAT team member. “That’s when we noticed that the victim was a cat.”

According to one refueling truck driver, the cat was returned after the negotiator bargained it free from the five year old for an ice cream.

“What can I say,” said the police negotiator eating two scoops of pistachio chocolate swirl, “I’m a good negotiator.”

The scene of the crime: link ; paint from FI Paints (link)

The CP vessel docked at the infamous Bygone Church in the Honahs. The church was the sight of a massacre during the fight for independence of the island.

The Coastal Patrol has sent out a “good will” vessel to assure residents of Blake Sea islands that the CP is still committed to stopping the illegal sand trade. The vessel, a newly acquired MLB from Feral Marine, is the pride of the CP fleet.

“Oh, yeah, but it ain’t the cup holders,” explained one of the ship’s crew. “It’s a beauty on the seas, at speed and in the bunk. It’s da first boat I been on dat kept me dry.”

Coastal Patrol insiders say that the good will tour is having mixed results, depending on where they land. “Some places don’t want to talk about where the sand comes from.”

Smuggling runs have been increasing into Juneau, yet local authorities couldn’t care less.

“They [Juneau police] don’t care at all. It’s all, GTFO this, and GTFO that,” whined one General Store owner. “Here, let me get you some GTFO fried chicken, or some GTFO iced coffee. It makes me sick!”

“We’re pretty excited about GTFO,” admitted a local constable. “You should see all the new things coming into the area!”

In the first of several planned reports on the Greater Tulagi Region, the Waterbank News has created a map to show anomaly travelers and WW2 era combat participants the growing complexity of the theater.

By clicking on the thumbnailed map you will see the entire contested area, along with the major players in the theater.

What surprised our staffers most was that most of the airports in the theater were neutral, allowing for active combatants to launch from them at the same time commercial GTFO flights could. In fact, nearly anyone can use the airfields, provided they follow local rules and guidelines. While at Archerfield Field (lower middle on the map), we saw a Claw P-40 take off, and a CP P-40 take off only minutes later, undoubtedly chasing it.

“Unless it is a combat airfield like Xilted, air fields are places where the war stops,” said one airport administrator. “What happens once you’re in the Tulagi Sea is wholly different matter.”

The Tulagi region may also be the first to allow smugglers to use the GTFO protocols, taking advantage of the existing combat conditions.

GTFO is increasing in scope, adding new docks to Oleg, Grunion, and Orwood. Barrels and crates are now supported as well, and new vehicles are in the works for the new freight protocol that is taking the logistics industry by storm. GTFO information can be found here (link). A starter kit (free and paid versions) is available at the Marketplace (link).

Smuggler X’s recent opening of a “delivery and postal service” in the Archerfield area hasn’t impressed certain law enforcement agencies, who still have outstanding warrants.

“My kid still has no sand for his sandbox,” said a Waterbank Police lieutenant. “And our volleyball court has rocks.”

Agencies such as the WPD, Sheriff’s Department, ERIA PD, ERPA, and GridEx security all have outstanding warrants for the smuggler.