Lawyers are descending on Waterbank News as the secret documents that were allegedly stolen in the New Year’s heist have come to light.
“We found this roll of blueprints and printouts on a body in Blackslough,” an ERIA PD officer told us. “It looked like some kind of new patrol ship. While we were dealing with the body, the plans were yoinked from the hood of our car.”
The new thief was chased into the mountains behind East River Intercontinental Airport and escaped. They were later caught by a mounted patrol near the peak.
“I heard this ridiculous evil laughter and thought I had better check it out,” said the Sheriff’s Department deputy on patrol that day. “The guy was laughing like a fool until I arrested him and took the plans. The guys at the station nicknamed him ‘Mopey’ after that.”
The plans were then placed on the front desk of the Sheriff’s office in Pippen, where they were yoinked again. That, dear readers, is how you see them here.