Waterbank Airlines has hit the news again after a whistleblower from the airline came forward and said that the Waterbank Airlines has been a taxi service for the Waterbank Intelligence Agency for several years now.
“The Waterbank News guy asked if anyone wanted to come forward with some dirt to print,” said the WA employee, “and I said ‘sure, I got time to kill. I ain’t had nothin’ to do all day but blow this stupid whistle.”
Waterbank Airlines has made several black lists after ferrying a paramilitary group to one of the contested islands in the Blake Sea area, angering a number of political groups.
“Civilian airlines have no business moving troops,” said the spokeswoman for the Unhitch Half Hitch Union (UHHU – “yoohoo”). “If Waterbank Airlines tries to land here we’ll blast’em outta the sky!”
A representative from WA was unapologetic. “Oh please. Half Hitch? I’m surprised they know what an airplane is. We are in business, and will ferry anyone for a price. That’s how a business works.”
An investigation into the crash of a 727 onto the ERIA tarmac is underway after the footage from a Waterbank News drone captured a single individual watching, and then running away.
“We thought it was pilot error,” said an ERIA PD detective, “however, there are too many unanswered questions.”
“For such a big blaze, it’s really strange to have no bodies,” said a WAA investigator consulting on the case. “It’s unlikely that they could have jumped out of a craft like that in time. Something’s going on here.”
The plans taken by New Year’s heist thieves is code named “Ripper,” a new product in development by Feral Marine.
Lawyers are descending on Waterbank News as the secret documents that were allegedly stolen in the New Year’s heist have come to light.
“We found this roll of blueprints and printouts on a body in Blackslough,” an ERIA PD officer told us. “It looked like some kind of new patrol ship. While we were dealing with the body, the plans were yoinked from the hood of our car.”
The new thief was chased into the mountains behind East River Intercontinental Airport and escaped. They were later caught by a mounted patrol near the peak.
“I heard this ridiculous evil laughter and thought I had better check it out,” said the Sheriff’s Department deputy on patrol that day. “The guy was laughing like a fool until I arrested him and took the plans. The guys at the station nicknamed him ‘Mopey’ after that.”
The plans were then placed on the front desk of the Sheriff’s office in Pippen, where they were yoinked again. That, dear readers, is how you see them here.
This photo of a vintage aircraft bearing the mark of Undine has resurfaced, shocking Undine veterans and historians. Undine and its mark on the world is believed to have passed into history after a volcanic eruption, but the appearance of an Undine service helicopter seems to prove otherwise.
The Undine Conflict was well documented by the Waterbank News and can be found through the Undine tags.
This pic of a Waterbank Auxiliary ambulance stopping at a Selby cemetery (link) moved several motorists to stop and see who they were paying their respects to.
“It was an unmarked stone,” said the motorist who sent us this pic, “so I guess we’ll never know.”
The Sheriff’s Department and Coastal Patrol have put in a large order for Feral Marine’s MLB (link) after it won an award from the WBA.
“If the WBA likes it,” explained a Sheriff’s Department rep, “then we like it!”
The Sheriff Department and Coastal Patrol have even gone a step further by releasing a paint (link to paint) for local departments to customize their MLBs.
“Goodness oughta be shared,” said a rep at the CP.
After the jump, the product notecard: