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East River

Feral Marine, the largest of the Feral companies, has won another competitive bid, this time from the SLMC. Feral will now be supplying the military elite group with their RB-L and the Prowler (link), and has options for the new Lynx when it finishes testing.

“We’re excited about this partnership,” said a spokesperson, “Feral has a strong presence in the rescue and interdiction boat market, and is battle tested. We look forward to doing more together.”

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Secrecy was surrounding a Vulture Air hangar at ERIA yesterday when a MOFT vehicle was seen loading a mysterious box for shipping.

“We all joked it was the Ark of the Covenant,” said a ground crew leader, “but the MOFT guy didn’t laugh. I really hope it’s not the Ark.”

Emergency responders arrived at the Clawfoote Cafe thinking that the whole thing might have been a hoax.

“The Clawfoote is usually where we meet for lunch,” said a WAX EMT, so we kinda thought it might be someone joking.”

When they arrived however, they found three victims, an entire family that was unconscious and unresponsive.

“The Clawfoote is awesome, but there are no roads to it,” the EMT explained. “It’s boat or seaplane. We happened to be practicing air rescues, and it’s a good thing. We loaded up all three and flew to the ERIA Seaplane Terminal in Pippen (link). From there it’s 450 meters to the ERH – the hospital. It’s a good thing Xi Larnia is so forward thinking.”

The family is currently recovering at East River Hospital and doctors say that they have been successfully treated for sticker shock.

The Waterbank Auxiliary (WAX) saved a jumper from a deadly plunge in the East River yesterday.

“I saw this guy shaking his head on the edge,” the EMT told us, “and so we got out to help. Turns out he was shaking with the need to buy a new boat and had just come from the Feral Marine offices. My partner had seen it before so we knew what to do. We grabbed a promo brochure from the truck and showed him lots of pictures of upcoming boats. Then we got him into the back, strapped him on the gurney, and off we went to the Feral Dockyards.”

According to the East River Hospital, Boat Addiction is a serious issue. “Tens of people are struck by it every month. The victim ends up wanting boats faster than the manufacturers can make them and is driven to extreme actions. We’ve got an entire ward of people here convulsing for the Bandit 665. It’s heartbreaking. If you or a loved one shows signs of Boat Addiction, have them go to the Feral Marine showroom in Tschotcke (link) and touch the new boats. It won’t cure them, but it will keep them going for a while.”

Editor’s Note: The Bandit 665 mentioned was originally dubbed the 670 and was first built in secret in 2014.

A meeting of the Seaplane Enthusiasts Association at the Linden Chalet has brought together some unusual enthusiasts together.

“I looked up,” said the receptionist Bill, “and there was this bearded wild man with a Claw patch and a bear hat. I was at a loss so I just said ‘name?’ Then he said ‘Cooper, from Claw.”

Other guests, which included ZoraSlade Karu (link) and Joe Sparrow of Astral-Tek were amazed at the man.

“We had wine and cheese, and talked about the Fairey seaplane (link),” said Astral Tek’s Adrian Faulkwing. “It was a bit surreal. He kept on and on about how more seaplanes needed torpedos like the Fairey.”

A private conversation between Chia, the CEO of Feral Marine and the Fugitive Lawyer was recorded and sent to the Waterbank News, which immediately prepared it for print.

“It just turns out that Feral engineers are not very quick about developing weapons systems. They refuse to talk to anyone else about it, but it seems that they are genuinely afraid of how powerful the Lynx might be. Meanwhile the weapons development team is bogarting the prototype build and the Lynx is so expensive to build that we could only afford to build the prototype. I really could use a drink.”

A garbled voice that is likely the Fugitive Lawyer’s asks about prepaid contracts.

“The procurement process for weapons from the SL Navy is pending. Since Feral is not a military company. We have no deals in place with any weapons makers yet. My head of legal said that he is trying to work out a deal with someone.”

The Fugitive Lawyer says something about a transport plane, then Chia answers.

“We did the C-23 Sherpa design a long time ago. Our legal department did something right and they sold the rights to that to an aviation company. They’re back to working well, but we may put you on retainer.”

Ground crews and passengers at ERIA shared a bit of levity yesterday when a follow car, the car that directs airplanes to their gate, stopped for gas.

“I got out, put the gas nozzle in, and looked up,” explained the driver. “And there’s this 727 looming over my trunk. I guess I forgot to actually tell them to park.”

According to sources the follow car led the airliner to the gate, then went for gas. Everything seemed normal to the pilots, but the follow car never told them to park.

“There’s nothing funny about this,” complained the pilot. “You try doing a 3 point turn to back up a 727!”