This week’s photo comes from a drone that was following an East River dinosaur, which became fascinated by Elisha’s head, an animated head atop a rock near East River Municipal Airport.
East River investigators are looking into a mysterious crash of a United City States helicopter only thirty minutes after landing at the Michie Marine compound at the mouth of the East River. Witnesses that saw the helicopter land say that something was loaded onto it and it took off shortly after landing.
“Michie is a philanthropist beyond suspicion,” said the Sheriff’s Department. “I think it’s likely that there was a mechanical failure.”
The WBA has been discretely meeting with staff at Feral Marine on Feral Marine’s pleasure cruiser, and speculation about the topic has all the customers at Pippen Hot coffee talking.
“It’s gotta be a conspiracy to take over Pippen,” said one over-caffeinated patron.
“I heard,” whispered another, “that the WBA is really just the WIA and that it’s all part of the Illuminotti.”
The barista tisked. “The Illuminotti is our special biscotti made of candied nuts.”
“I think you’re all nuts,” said the Waterbank News intern. “Just walk over there and ask them what they’re doing.”
Rumors are circulating about Feral Marine’s Tempest, the deep water patrol craft that is currently in dock at Tschotcke, Blake (link). The rumors are speculating that the company may break with its rigorous testing process and release an early “.7 version” to generate income for its increasingly expensive Sea Lion and Lynx projects.
“They’ve got these amazing products,” said Sketch Sun of the WBA, “but some of the development cost is… expensive. I don’t want to even think about how many cup holders they need to buy for the Sea Lion…”
Waterbank Fish Company has been accused by the Mowry Constable of “fostering separatism” in the latest of Mowry Town Hall.
“I was shocked,” said a five year old we interviewed. “I was just playing with my toys, and then he just stood up and said all this crazy stuff!”
“It was everything I had always feared coming true,” said the five year old’s mother. “We eat their fish sticks every night! My boy loves the Undinian Trout and my husband loves the Dutch Harbor mollusks… so scary!”
Waterbank Fish Company refused to comment on the allegation, instead replying with “we will always provide our customers with the fish they love.”
Buckland Military Region, the unique combat training ground that has won accolades from tens of military and law enforcement groups, has doubled its holdings.
“It’s a huge boost,” said the editor for Soldier of Modest Fortune magazine. “We can practice our craft in the air, sea, and land.”
Proxy War Fought at Buckland
East and West River forces are actively fighting each other at Buckland, using the combat space instead of open conflict near their populations.
“It started as just a few guys with pistols,” said an East River combatant who described herself as ‘Deadshot Gil.’ “Then those vermits brought rocket launchers.”
“It wasn’t the original intention of the space,” said on of the maintenace people at Buckland, “but it works.” The person has the unenviable job of replacing destroyed oil drums (18 hp). “Meh, it’s a job, right? What else am I gonna do with a Phd in linguistics?”
An East River data center has been accused of playing a part in a WIA data breach thst may have exposed Waterbank’s most secretive database.
A Waterbank University professor of Applied Political Malfeasance told us it was serious. “We’re talking about the Forgier report, the Undine secret missions, and whether or not there’s a plan to kidnap members of NTBI to construct a mountain lair.”
“We’ve never done those things,” said a WIA rep, “but there are a lot of family recipes we’d hate to get out.”
Scable Data, located in Grizedale (link), is part of East River’s ‘Sillycon River,’ and did not respond to us. WIA is said to be weighing options.