In a ceremony so exclusive that the guest of honor and all of the Waterbank News staff wasn’t invited, Waterbank News named Rez Gray as Waterbank News’ Person of the Year, an award that is all the more impressive since the year isn’t over.
“He’s a titan of industry, a major economic force, and a creator without equal,” gushed the Editor in Chief of the Waterbank News. “He has created entire communication networks and his work on GTFO is bringing the world together.”
“Waterbank News’ Person of the Year Award is a big deal,” said President of the Waterbank Business Agency, Sketch Sun. “Only major contributors to society are named.”
“He would say that,” mumbled the intern at the WBA about Sun. “He was Person of the Year 2014.”
Waterbank News’ Person of the Year wasn’t available for comment, though people who know Rez say that he would be mildly amused. “He’s a humble guy with one foot in the clouds and the other on Mainland sand,” said Smuggler X, who says he first met Rez at a Dutch Harbor party. “A great guy.”