ERPA Caught in Doughnut Scandal

A visitor to ERPA’s headquarters in East River snapped this photo that started a scandal – with an entire box of doughnuts.

Doughnuts have been in short supply in East River following a surge of construction and a fire in a local Mowry bakery has elevated the sugary rings to new prices.

“Crawlers are going for 250 L’s,” said a man with a bulging trenchcoat near ERIA, “and you can’t afford an Old Fashioned.”

East River residents, who are usually ambivalent toward doughnuts suddenly want them more than ever, and the sight of so much casually laid out for ERPA employees sent citizens into a rage.

“It’s a Claw conspiracy!” One man yelled at Pippen Hot, and his wife agreed.

“Only the Claw has that many, so like, you know, if they do, it’s gotta be the Claw.”


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