WFC Blames Claw!


Waterbank Fish Company is blaming the Claw for the sinking of a trawler in the ANWR Channel, though emergency responders say that the craft was “suspiciously positioned with its head up a buoy’s derriere.”

WFC and the Claw have long maintained a contentious relationship. New spokesman for the Claw – our former intern – has said that “the Waterbank Fish Company routinely fishes indiscriminately, taking in endangered animals. We would like to claim that we sunk this vessel, but we had nothing to do with it.”


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