WIA Assesses Northern Waters Risk


The Waterbank Intelligence Agency has conducted a threat assessment on the northeast passage to Juneau (link), stating that the open waters are “as vulnerable as a pig’s behind.”

The report was sent to the Juneau City Council, which has long maintained its neutral and demilitarized status. “We’re just simple folk,” one council member said, “and like to keep to ourselves.”


Juneau has kept their neutrality despite Claw activity. In one surprising accident, a Claw fighter was grounded from a Juneau attraction (link).

WIA insists that Juneau could do more to protect itself. “At least lock your doors,” the spokeswoman suggested.

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