CP Pilot Shares All In Teary Confession

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A Coastal Patrol pilot, seen here in the Tulagi region, gave a tear-streaked confession after his P-40 crashed during a dogfight with a Claw B-17.

“I just wanted the maple bars,” he cried, as other pilots tried to look away. “I thought if I could just down one Claw shipment-” his sobs obscured his speech.

As several airmen left the scene from embarrassment, a Coastal Patrol officer explained what had happened to the Waterbank News.

“It’s a crazy story. His dog was on Spyglass Island when the Claw came. They dropped two thousand maple bars on the island, and the poor creature ate himself to death before he could stop it. He told me he kept chasing it in circles as ate one after another.”

The pilot was treated for minor injuries, and the Coastal Patrol has since grounded the pilot for “administrative reasons.” They have resumed patrols to halt Claw doughnut runs, vowing, according to the officer, “To beat the cream out of them.”

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