Pippen Labor Practices Lifted, Production Resumes

From our Pippen Office:

SimonPippen Sounds of banging and crashing of metal are coming from the Feral Marine manufacturing facility once again. After a mandatory vacation, Feral Marine is back at work.

About once a year the East River gears down and goes into vacation mode, during which, enforced strictly by the ERPD and ERPA, no work permitted. All of the workers spend time with their friends and family and live life.

“Feral Marine is a proud member of the East River Community. We follow traditions because they are an important part of the culture in this wonderful area.” Said a spokesperson for Feral Marine when asked about the shutdown. “This shut down costs our plant millions every year mostly because our CEO will not allow us to stop paying our workforce over the shutdown. She said it’s one of the benefits of working for Feral Marine.”

The shutdown does not affect the airport (ERIA), due to zoning and East River statutes also permit certain storefronts to remain open through the shutdown every year.

“The East River employees know how to play and have fun. But they also work harder than anyone I have ever seen. We get a years production out of our employees in just 10 months! This permits us to close our plant for another 2 months to comply with the East River traditions. So, competition watch out, your dealing with a well rested, relaxed, and motivated work force here at Feral Marine!” “We are ready to build some BOATS!” said a wild eyed employee as they ran past. When the employee ran past we did catch the very strong scent of catnip.

“This is the East River, catnip is 100% legal, so, of course, most of our employees are blitzed out of their minds on the stuff right now! But ya know, even on the stuff they are safe and build a hell of a product!” said a production manager.

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