Where Were They? ERs Raise Complaints

VCGinDuck The VCG Facility in Duck

“Hanging with ducks,” replies an East River citizen when talking about where the VCG was when Claw submarines surfaced in East River. “They’ve got some training facility in Duck, so that’s what I tell my friends. They’re hanging with ducks.”

As the number of Claw sightings has been increasing in East River, so has the clamor over who should be deterring them.

“Coastal Patrol was created for that reason,” complained the barista at Pippen Hot, “but they’re so lazy! Most of them come for coffee after noon!”

Another customer sounded off loudly, hoping to get a rise out of the adjacent WBA office. “Waterbank ought to do something!”

East River citizens have made complaints at various East River institutions as well. East River Police are reporting daily complaints along the waterfront and say that the East River Port Authority has been curiously quiet. “ERPA’s lost a lot of funding,” said one ERPD officer off record.

Conspiracy theorists in East River claim a number of unusual theories, including a popular one about Muirhead Island. “It’s part of the Muirhead Separatist Movement,” said one unkempt man being ousted by ERIA security. “The Claw’s giving them weapons so they can break away from East River!”

Another theory popular in Helvelyn was that Feral Marine was working with the Claw. “Who knows what’s going on in that big factory,” one person said.

“The Claw hasn’t broken any East River laws or statutes,” said a lawyer retained by the organization at Baker and Sun. “And any conspiracy theories about the Claw and any East River organizations are foundless. They are just misunderstood.”

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