Worker Panics Airport, Runs Screaming, Is Silenced By Well Placed Wall

A new employee at East River Intercontinental Airport panicked the entire airport today after they ran in circles screaming “zombie! Zombie!”

ERIA Police responded quickly, arriving on the scene to see the worker run directly into a wall, knocking themselves unconscious. Police checked the terminals and found no sign of zombies, and were only able to understand the story after the worker was revived with a catnip salt solution.

“It turns out the guy saw a construction checklist for ERIA and there was a “zombie cleanup system” for the new trains, which is just a technical term meaning trains that were running out of sequence and needed to be taken out of service,” explained a ERIA PD officer.

“It’s important to put things into context,” said Elisha Paklena Cassini-Niosaki (elisha.paklena) the chief architect behind the ERIA reconstruction and owner of Paklena Sailworks.


ERIA construction is being handled by Gestalt Montpardien, the parent company of Paklena Sailworks, Aeromiao (link), Cargomiao, and Paklena Spaceworks which operates the space station 4km over the ERC. The company has recently gone public after a series of private valuations that appraised the company at a higher than expected value.


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