WN Ransacked For Catnip!

WNransacked

Waterbank News has been ransacked by law enforcement after it was discovered that WN was researching a story on a Catnip/Claw operation in Pippen.

“They knew we’d never give up our sources, so they raided,” explained one reporter.

The CLAW has been accused of running an catnip operation out of Pippen, one of the few areas in the world where the substance is legal. The import export operation, believed to be run out of a company on the Pippen waterfront, has law enforcement befuddled.

“It’s legal here,” explained an East River prosecutor, “and a controlled substance everywhere else. If they are caught outside the area they are in trouble, but here they’re protected – even the CLAW.”

To make things more complicated, shipments bound for airplanes at ERIA are technically outside the East River jurisdiction.

“East River Intercontinental Airport actually sits on a border,” explained a luggage handler at ERIA. “Police could nab the truck at the warehouse but can’t touch it on the runway.”

“They should have what Waterbank has,” said one customer at Pippen Hot. “They’ve got a law on the books that lets them hit the CLAW anywhere.”

Baker and Sun Law Firm, which represents WN, has said that even damning evidence found in the raid would be inadmissible. “You can’t just turn over boxes and drag people to court. There is a proper procedure.”

Police officers on the scene defended themselves in this way:

“The office looks cleaner now.”

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