Waterbank News Celebrates 1200 Articles!

Waterbank News is celebrating in classic Waterbank style this week with parties that are likely to continue into next month. The festivities started when the Editor in Chief realized that the paper had published more than 1200 articles – 1198 more than critics had said were possible.

“We have really covered a lot,” said the Editor in Chief. “and there have been some crazy stories. Let me take you through some of them. We had crazy late night meetings with conspiracy folks, like the NTBI guy (link), we covered the entire Secret Society of the Crested Lotus expedition into the anomalies (link), and then when it came back (link). We lost people (link), and never saw them again. We saw giant monkeys (link), mayors assassinated (link), several wars (link), international politics (link), and were even arrested on occasion (link).

“Don’t forget there were slow news days, too,” called out another reporter. “We may – or may not have,” he looked over at the WBA office, “made some of our own news (link).”

“And don’t forget the ghost (link),” said another reporter. “We had a ghost too!”

Champagne was passed around the office, and quickly consumed. The reporters reminisced about all the stories – printed and unprinted. In the corner two reporters spoke in low tones about stories with no follow through. “We only covered the tip of the iceberg with the Forgier Report (link). People are saying he’s still alive.” The other reporter nodded his head. “What about the insane cloning scheme (link) Waterbank hatched?”

Food arrived and the reporters gathered around it. Some looked as though they had not seen it in days.

“We have never felt so good,” said one reporter who was already pouring a scotch, “to think we cleared 1200 articles! My momma said I would never work hard,” he laughed, “and she was right. To mama,” he called out to the office, holding up his drink. They returned his toast and the whole office took a drink.


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