The Fugitive Lawyer, still a legal loose cannon, executive bombed Feral Marine this week. Sources inside Feral are at a loss to explain why the high power attorney would crash into Chia’s office, especially when the two were previously on good terms.

“He was very neat,” said one of the cleaning staff. “He even brought his own cushion to sit on.”

The Fugitive Lawyer is still wanted by 183 municipalities, and is listed as a person of interest in East River.

A recent sighting of a single Claw fighter over the Blake Sea sent the region into a panic as local militias and costal patrols scrambled to protect what had been calm seas.

“The threat assessment was way down,” said a WIA source. “People were saying that the only thing to worry about was the mai tai pineapple spears in the water.”

Satelites captured the pilot and the craft, an Amok F-4, for a minute before the fighter veered out of sight.

“Yup,” said a Half Hitch resident. “Yup.”

The WRFD has sent out a list of items that aspiring departments may want to consider when building up their departments. The list is below.

Practice Buildings and Simulations:

Burning Town House

Burn Tower


Thermal Imager

Bunker Gear, helmet

Euro helmet


Gear, firehouses, support items

X 350 Rescue


TPF Ladder

Tanker Fire Truck

TPF 1 Truck

More trucks and gear (Sombre)

Fire Boats:



A person hunt has again begun in Helvellyn after a set of prized easels were stolen from a gallery.

“You can’t put a price on them,” explained ERPD spokesperson Uiss Shewashy. “They might as well have stolen Van Gogh’s bed.”

Helvellyn, which has long supported a thriving artist community, has vowed that perpetrators would be found and punished in a manner befitting their crime.

Reporters were shocked after an East River Police map of Beast activity was discovered on the police captain’s desk.

“It shows how unsafe we are,” said one reporter, “and how much they were hiding!”

ERPD refused to comment on the map, and reporters have been pushing for answers.

“The map clearly shows that they think there are three areas where the Beast was likely to be, and what is frightening is that we never did find the thing,” said a well known shipping and ship-building magnate.

The Sheriff’s Department assisted in the management of the latest Meighen auto race, sending out its deputies to ensure that the roadways were clear of obstructions and that the local criminal gang would not interfere. 

“It’s an amazing place to drive,” one deputy told us, “with twists and turns galore. Racers are going to love it.”

Driving challengers should go to Meighen and try it out for themselves (link).

A photo has been secreted from the illustrious Bandit Shipyards, showing one of the many tantalizing projects still to come. The crab craft is said to be able to collect multiple cages and handle deep seas, with only a small crew.

The shipyards, always a closely held secret by the owners of Dutch Harbor (see links at right), is also said to be working on a range of classic yachts and sailing craft.